Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Mum said, recently: "How nice it would be if you and Nigel started off a friends. A friendship is so much more important than a romantic relationship, it's so much more enjoyable."
I know, mum. I wish I could tell you everything. The requirements we'd met to have gone this far.
We became acquaintances.
Requirement was that, after sporadically seeing each other at family gatherings, we met each other at the Api-api Driving Centre, & did not mind befriending the other on Facebook.
We became friends.
Requirement was that we had time to spend with each other. I had nothing to do after SPM, he was waiting to start O levels. We started chatting & texting.
We became good friends.
Requirement was that we had the same interests. We like reading. We like the same songs. I liked what he did, he liked what I wrote.
We became crushes.
Requirement was that, he was something I was not: Strong, driven, reckless. Though, why he fell for me, I still don't know.
We became a couple.
Requirement was that, he knew what he wanted, & I was sure of what I wanted this time.
We stuck by each other.
Requirement was that, he knows what a commitment is, even more so after four relationships. Also, I have always believed in commitment.
We stayed together.
Requirement was that, we're compatible. We do not fit in perfectly, but where we don't fit, we know to adjust & we are willing to.
If you wish for our relationship to not have worked, mum, you'd have a lot of wishing to do.
You'd have to wish, we never met at ADC.
That somehow, since Nigel was not close with me, he'd have rejected my friend request.
That I would not have commented on his status concerning his fan letters.
That he would not have replied me.
That I would not, at the time, have thought him publishing Habibi awesome.
That we were busy and did not have time to chat with each other online.
That the songs he were into at the time & shared with me, were not my taste.
That I didn't have the guts to share with him my private blogs.
That I 'd think he was too stubborn for his own good.
That he'd met some other, better girl.
That I'd met some other guy who fitted in more with my perfect guy description.
That he did not go to that party on Monday night.
That I was not listening to jiwang songs that same night.
That Emery wanted him back by then.
That he never forgave me for offending him.
That he'd decided then, a relationship was not for him.
That I'd gone for A levels instead of Form Six.
That I wasn't such a strong believer in commitment.
That I hate divorces and break ups so much.
It really is too late, mum. If you really don't want this to work, your only chance is if Nigel breaks this up. Because I will never, ever call it quits.
Labels: Recordings
sign off
10:42 PM
